i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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