Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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