i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Did I show you my penis last night?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
