your parents love me but you hate me
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
