Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
