I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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