We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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