suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
His nipple licking is glorious
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