Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also, beer. Big fan.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
