He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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