Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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