Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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