I wanna bring you to show and tell
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
