she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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