yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
