It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
