are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
