so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
