we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize