i think i have two assholes
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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