Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
