I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
