spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
