he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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