Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
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