My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
