I just threw up on my dentist
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
