Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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