I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize