that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
