Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
