So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
