3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
