I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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