I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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