I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the liver wants what the liver wants
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
