I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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