her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
