I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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