remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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