Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
