I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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