whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
