his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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