I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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