I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
foreskin is a definite game changer
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Randomize
