hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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