win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
