Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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