She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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