I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize