it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
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Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
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He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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