I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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