dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
