I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
