Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
