Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you guys were way drunker than both of me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she peed on how many people?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
