Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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