I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
soo... how was my night?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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