i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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