I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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