I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
