just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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