So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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