I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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